Snapshot of an Autocratic Priest.

There he stood, like a large vulture ready to attack it's prey. Shoulders hunched and head tucked firmly into his neck, eyes scanning the scene before him.  He always demanded absolute conformity, for after all this was his church and he could do what he liked with it.  He had been appointed by the Bishop, therefore all those under him had to do and behave as he instructed.  Ahhhh!  Here come the little girls in their long red dresses with frilly white collars.  He smiled inwardly. It had taken him four long years to reintroduce this particular ritual, together with the ringing of the bells during communion.  It felt so satisfying to have got his own way at last.  How does the saying go again?  "Softly, softly, catch the monkey".

He had had many uphill battles, but after all he was God's anointed, and as such, all that he did by way of changes, he was sure, were smiled on and approved of by God.  His eyes came to rest on a particular parishioner.  One of those hard-headed individuals who refused to do as he had commanded. He knew the showdown had to come soon, and when it did, he also knew who would still be standing at the end of it. After all, he thought to himself, I am the chosen one.  I am the one to take this church in the direction which causes me to feel most comfortable.  I will have no renegades in my congregation.  Most of them have been winkled out, just this last difficult customer, clinging to this place like a limpet clings to a rock. 

His gaze came to rest on the new assistant priest.  What a find!  A pastoral care genius.  All that stuff which he found so boring and irritating, could be smartly pushed her way.  Now he could focus on the things he really enjoyed doing, like gardening and reading obscure and ancient writings.  He loved to show off his intellect, by quoting in his sermons snippets of information gleaned from the lives of long dead saints.  He seldom saw the puzzlement on the faces of the sheep in front of him.  After all, these were his sheep, and as such, surely they must come to know his voice!  "The Force be with you", and the knee-jerk response  "and also with you".   "No, no, no, that was terrible, lets try it again.  THE FORCE BE WITH YOU"  "and also with you" sheepishly bleated the battered and bruised congregation.